Peoples

So 14 years later, I'm graduated from the school that I've called home. I never went to any other school, never did summer school, never did anything other than PCA. I grew up with it, grew up in the same building, grew up with some of the same friends, I grew up in a 'Christian' environment. I was taught all about the Bible since I was 4 years old, learning about Jesus and what he did for me years ago. I listened well and knew all the answers and somewhere along the road it all became meaningless and routine, just going to church, going to school. Not that I really fell away or rejected God, just deep down inside, all it was was a routine and way of life for me, in the sense that I never questioned it, or thought of it as more than some things I did and said, even though I served in church, and did all the right things. I had the same thinking as a lot of other students, I just wanted to get out, taste the 'real world', and have the option to take the 'full range' of courses and activities that PCA did not provide. But I guess I never left, and to this day, I am forever thankful that I didn't.
I always thought that maybe I should have been allowed to grow up in the 'real world' and figure things out for myself, and that I would find God in my own special and real way, more real than learning about it in church and school every day of the week for my whole life. I wanted something that I could call my own, and something that wasn't just presented for me and just assumed for me to believe. And in a way, I did find this, I did find God in my own way, and I will never turn back to do it again, as part of the bigger picture, I owe much of this to PCA.
As much as it seemed like it was 'sheltered' or too 'strict' and whatever else they say, I don't understand why people say that anymore. Do you want teachers to give you drugs? Do you want teachers to let you wear your uniform in a way that people can see things only you and your doctor should see? Do you want to have a smokers corner at your school? I don't, and I really don't think I ever wanted it that way either. Sometimes I did want to learn it the 'hard way', to get into that kind of stuff and then have my eyes 'opened' and so I would learn not to smoke, not to get drunk, not to do drugs, not to be sexually active, not to swear, not to do all these things. And really, whatever school you go to is not going to stop any of that from happening. That stuff happens at PCA, and at any other school, but I do believe that PCA has given us the option and environment to build up that foundation and the morals and values that we need to say no and resist those things, but more importantly to know why, and how to share that with others.
And even so, I did fall into some of those things that we were taught not to do, and I wasn't always the good person I made myself out to look like, or so I tried. And I probably would have fallen deeper and into many more things, if it wasn't for this school. Referring back to a series of posts from January, going to Urbana really did change my life, and it was through my initiative to seek out something else other than myself that I did find this new light and genuine relationship with God, but it was just as much the event as it was the follow up that I had. If it wasn't for PCA, my life would still be changed, but there would have been a lot less to build off of, if I hadn't been raised there, and a lot less to build with, if I had left the school. Being at Peoples really built a strong foundation, and as I picture it it was like a block of cement that wasn't fully dry yet, and still had the frame around it to hold it together. Being raised in PCA and church was the cement and frame that held it together, but what really solidified my faith and foundation in Christ was the continuation of my time a Peoples, and the persons that were brought into my life to follow up with me and to spend the time to help me solidify my faith, the trips that I went on, all the things I experienced and did, and all the great moments and quiet times that amount to who I am today. Without the wise and patient advice of the few who took me as I was to guide me and counsel me to really change, and then be the change I wanted to see, things would have been very different this year. Without the constant challenges and patience of these people, I wouldn't have stepped up my faith and would have easily fallen back to where I was before. So thanks, thanks for not taking the credit either, and constantly reminding me to go back to God as well.
Going on missions trips and really taking part in building the kingdom of God just opened my eyes and gave me a taste of what it's like to really give things up for the sake of Him who has so much more to offer. Going and being with people and serving them was just one of the things sparked a desire inside of me to pursue a missional life until I die. So I thank God for these people, for putting within them the desire to help young people like me, and for not letting me believe that I could do it on my own. Without PCA, I could have found trips, but not like the ones at PCA. So it's just been great, there can be a lot said about the trips, and I could just go on and on about it, but being on the other side of the globe telling lost people about Jesus is something that is hard to put into words.
My friends at Peoples really did take part in shaping who I was and am, and the defining moments are too many to count. I have come to see that this group is indeed very different than the 'real world', but at the same time, genuine and real, just as real as public school people(see, I don't understand the deal and difference is). These people were all different, from different families, backgrounds, schools, and worldviews, but the time we spent together, whether it was 14 years, 10 years, or even just 1 or 2, all made up my primary and secondary school life, and had a part in shaping who I've become. Despite our differences, the sieve of morals and values left me with a set of friends, despite the times we spent apart and felt distant, that shared with me their lives, and let me share with them mine, whenever the opportunity came up. The endless jokes and laughter, the fights and drama that somehow always squeezed it's way in, the occasional 'deep' moments,(and observing, only observing, the romantic ones), all the bromance, the love and bittersweet times that will always be remembered, the ever moving slinky of closeness and distance in friendships, and the finale to it all in Mexico and our graduation, where it didn't really matter who we were or who we had been friends with. And even if the values were not the same, they were my friends nonetheless, and this even opened up opportunities to be real and share with them why I believed what I believed, and let God do the rest.
I always told myself that I was not a product of my friends, my family, or my school. I always told myself that I was my own individual, that I lived the way I wanted, thought the way I wanted to think, and did the things that I wanted to do. But I have come to realized that it is these things that really shape who I am, the people that I am around all day and the relationships I build. So thank you friends. I know I wasn't always the best one.
And the only reason that I was in PCA in the first place was because of my parents. I had wanted to leave, partly because of course selections and activities, because I wanted to have 'freedom', and also because of the financial sacrifice they made.It didn't always make sense to me why they would pay thousands of dollars a year to send me and my brother to school, and then pay hundreds and thousands for trips and uniforms and textbooks and everything else, and then more. But now I know, and I'm sure that they know too. They have seen me change, and I think they have waited awhile to see me change from an immature toddler, to an immature child, to an immature teenager, to what I hope and know is a slightly more mature young adult today. I had no idea that it would happen, or that I would even realize that the change would and could exist, but I guess it did, and I appreciate them so much for taking the time and the money and the effort to put my in Peoples. Without that, I wouldn't have been able to have the rich experience that I treasure so much now. So thanks, for your sacrifice and patience with me, because I know after 13 years, it would be easy to just give up and sit back and let the city pay for my education for a year. My mom just told me that she had been praying for me that I would mature and really take ownership of my faith and step it up, ever since I was a little kid. She tells me that it's only by the grace of God, and she takes no credit for it. And it just amazes me when I think about that, because I sincerely believe in the power of prayer, and I guess it's never proven me wrong before. The Bible does tell us to bring up our children and teach them the way in which they should go, so that they will never abandon that, and I guess that's what happened to me. Foundation was build, even though I was not remotely aware of it until now, and I guess it's just been unfolding ever since.
And I used to think that it was hopeless, the situation that the school is in right now, and I used to just make fun of it like many did, and couldn't care less if it closed. But now I know what can happen with students, and the hearts of the people that are there, the teachers who care more about their students as people than their marks, the amazing opportunities(that aren't always grasped and many times taken for granted) that are available through PCA(trips, teachers, chapel, etc.). So I do care if it closes, and I do pray for the school, and I do want to see it come back and just continue to do what it has done for me with students for years to come.
So I guess I am very thankful that I've been at PCA. For God and what He's done with and through me, for my mentor and counselors, my friends, and my parents. I can't even start to imagine what I would be like right now if I had grown up somewhere else. I'm sure that I would have still found God, and that I would be able to be used by God, but then again, who knows, and I don't need to go back and try again.